You may have heard of the catch-all terms – “male loneliness epidemic” or “female loneliness epidemic” – yet one survey showed that 1 in 5 Americans almost always or often feel lonely. Suffice to say that the feeling in itself is not gendered, even if the reasons may be – but the deeper question here is how do we deal with this persistent feeling? Many often turn to negative habits – like substance misuse or other risky behaviors. Instead, in this article – we will focus on how to handle loneliness without relying on such habits, should you ever feel this way.
What Is Loneliness?
Loneliness is the feeling we experience when our connectedness or relationship needs are not met. It is not just the case that you feel lonely if you have a few or no relationships, but even those with a lot of connections can also feel lonely. This may be because you do not feel seen or cared for by those around you.
Loneliness can be the effect of several things – like social anxiety, stress, ageing, grief, and other factors.
Why Loneliness Can Trigger Negative Habits?
Loneliness can trigger negative habits as it is an unpleasant experience – it is discomforting, but it can also lead to distress. This can impact your mind and body in negative ways.
For instance, one may resort to substance use or binge eating to numb this feeling. Others may participate in excessive gaming or gambling. These experiences give you a high (a dopamine hit) – which puts a blanket on the loneliness for a while, but does not heal anything. It is only a temporary fix, but not a cure.
How to Recognize Your Personal Loneliness Triggers?
Recognizing your personal loneliness triggers involves identifying the specific circumstances or events that underlie this painful sense of disconnection – whether you or on your own or surrounded by others.
While it is common to feel lonely sometimes (we have all been there), if this becomes frequent and persistent – it is a reason for concern. To understand your personal triggers, you will have to introspect and get in touch with your feelings and the underlying factors. You can even try journaling to track these patterns.
Common, yet oft-hidden, triggers can be specific times or days of the year (like the Thanksgiving and Christmas season), major life transitions (relocation, retirement, divorce), social comparisons, social rejection, or a lack of deep, meaningful connections.
Loneliness also releases cortisol – known as the stress hormone – which in the long run can lead to declined cognitive functioning, weakened immune system response, and cardiovascular diseases. These can further add to the cycle of negativity in life.
How to Break the Cycle of Loneliness and Negative Habits?
To break the cycle of loneliness and negative habits, begin by identifying your triggers and understanding their impacts on your mind and body.
If you find that loneliness is leading you toward negative habits, what you can do is turn the focus of healing inward – begin self-care by starting with a nutritious diet, consistent sleep, and exercise. You can also practice meditation and mindfulness to strengthen your mind.
Cut down on social media activity. Social media can make you feel superficially connected to others, but it isolates you from the real world. It also leads to social comparisons that are detrimental to your mental health.
Work toward greater social connection. It is true that most of us in the world do not have everything handed on a silver platter. We have to work for it – this holds true even for social connections and relationships. For instance, you can begin volunteering. Not only are you doing something good for the society, but you are also connecting with others.
Reach out to those you already know. Maybe a handwritten note on their birthday or anniversary, or other acts that bring joy and relationships into your life.
What Are the Healthy Ways to Handle Loneliness?
Here are some healthy ways of handling loneliness:
- Learn to enjoy your own company. Practice gratitude journaling, meditation, and mindfulness to foster self-connection and enjoy solo activities, like solo travel, which can make you feel good.
- Open up those you know. Share how you feel with someone you trust, even starting with small chats.
- Take it slow. Start with small social steps at your own pace without rushing into big interactions. Even if it means going out of your comfort zone, take one step at a time.
- Make new connections. Join support groups, online communities, volunteering, or local activities to meet others and cultivate connections.
- Do not compare yourself to others. Avoid comparing your life to others, especially by looking at the highly curated reels or shorts on social media.
- Look after yourself. Do things that nurture your well-being, like exercise, interests, passions, or hobbies.
- Try talk therapies. Consider therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy to understand and manage feelings of loneliness.
How to Build a Life That Reduces Loneliness Over Time?
To build a life that reduces the feeling of loneliness over time:
- Practice self-forgiveness. Be kind to yourself with meditation, mindfulness, and journaling to build emotional resilience.
- Develop hobbies and interests. Pursue enjoyable activities and join related groups to distract from loneliness and meet like-minded people.
- Cultivate and foster your connections. Reach out to old friends and be proactive in scheduling regular catch-ups to strengthen relationships.
- Improve communication skills. Enhance listening and communication to develop and maintain better relationships.
- Participate in social activities. Take part in community events or volunteer to meet new people and feel part of a community.
- Be physically active. Exercise and join group physical activities to boost mood and connect socially.
- Use technology judiciously. Stay connected with others through virtual meetups and online communities while avoiding negative social media habits.
- You can adopt a pet. Bring companionship and unconditional love into your life through a pet.
- Have personal goals. Create and pursue personal goals to give yourself purpose and reduce feelings of isolation.
- Reach out to mental health specialists. Use counseling, therapy, or even support groups to address deeper issues and learn coping strategies for loneliness.
What to Do When Loneliness Feels Overwhelming?
When loneliness feels overwhelming in that it is impeding your daily life, relationships, and functioning – reach out to a licensed and trained mental health specialist who utilizes counseling and psychotherapeutic interventions to enable you to deal with loneliness in healthy ways and foster resilience.
Final Reflections
Loneliness is a shared human experience, but how we respond to it can either deepen the pain or lead us toward healing. By recognizing triggers and choosing healthier coping strategies, we can break this cycle toward a healthier, purposeful tomorrow. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, do not hesitate to reach out – it can be the first step toward feeling truly seen and supported.
