Looking for divorce?
One of the first decisions you will make will also be one of the most important decisions you make during your divorce.
Divorce mediation and litigation will affect your finances and your future relationship with your former spouse.
The problem:
Few people understand how the two processes differ. Many rush into litigation without realizing they are bleeding their accounts and will not be able to be friendly with their ex-spouse.
But here’s a fact that might shock you:
8 out of 10 divorcing couples will successfully reach a settlement agreement through divorce mediation.
Are you among the 80%? Don’t be in the other 20%? If so, you should at least understand how mediation works.
Before going any further, you should know that only 5% of divorces are decided in a courtroom. The remaining 95% of couples settle their cases through mediation or other means.
Incredible, right?
Families and divorce are life-changing matters, so deciding the proper family lawyer or mediation method to handle your divorce makes all the difference in the world.
Whether you are meeting with a Little Rock divorce lawyer or a divorce mediator, here’s an overview of how the two processes work so you can make a sound decision on what’s best for your situation.
- Divorce mediation vs. litigation: what’s the difference?
- Real cost differences between mediation and litigation
- When should I choose mediation and when to choose litigation?
- The takeaway
What Is Divorce Mediation?
Divorce mediation is what it sounds like; it’s a referee for your divorce.
You and your spouse have to reach an agreement on how to split your property, custody of the kids, child support, and debt during the divorce.
This time, the referee is not a judge. Instead, you and your spouse work with an impartial third party called a mediator.
A mediator is a neutral person that facilitates discussions and helps you and your spouse reach an agreement. The mediator will guide the discussion to keep the conversations productive and ensure that you both reach an agreement in all divorce-related issues.
Remember that a mediator will not take sides during the mediation. They don’t favor either of you and make no decisions.
Here’s why mediation is beautiful:
You will be in charge, you and your ex-spouse. You will not have to depend on a third party (judge) that does not know you to run your life.
Your spouse will not have to depend on the judge for his future either.
The final agreements will be in your hands, so a mediator will not have the final say on issues in your case.
Instead of going to a courtroom, you will try to work with your spouse on any issue.
And the best part is that you are dealing with an expert who has handled many family cases like yours. This also means that your former spouse will have a chance to discuss things and reach a solution in a setting that will help.
What Is Divorce Litigation?
Divorce litigation is when you try to take your divorce to court and ask a judge to make major decisions on all divorce-related issues, such as who keeps the house, where the kids will live, alimony, child support, and other issues.
I think you get the process when you think about litigation.
It’s everything the divorce court will handle from start to finish. This includes your lawyers filing the papers in court, discovery (requests for information), depositions and witness testimony, and a trial.
I will not lie; it’s formal, rigid, and expensive.
But there are times when you will have no other option than to take it to court. If your ex-spouse hides assets, if your spouse refuses to negotiate in good faith, and when your children are in danger because of your spouse’s behavior, then there is no other option but to file the case in court.
Litigation Costs vs. Mediation Costs
The major difference between mediation and litigation is usually on your account.
In other words, if you look at the divorce litigation costs and the divorce mediation costs, you will soon realize that mediation is the cheaper and friendlier method than litigation.
According to the data collected on this subject, divorce mediation usually costs about $5000 to $15,000, whereas divorce litigation could cost anywhere between $15,000 to $50,000.
Cases with many assets or uncontested child custody fights can go to six-figure legal bills.
Mediation costs
Mediation costs to include;
- The mediator fees, which are often hourly.
- Filing fees for the relevant court documents and sometimes
- Individual attorney consultations
Litigation costs
Litigation costs include;
- Attorneys’ fees for you and your spouse
- Filing fees for the relevant court cases
- Discovery and information
- Fees for any expert witness, and
- Trial preparation
What most people don’t know, however, is that the emotional cost of litigation usually outweighs the financial costs. In contrast, mediation is usually friendlier since it is all about collaboration, unlike the other process.
When Mediation Works Best
Mediation is not for everyone, but for the right divorcing couple, it is the best option ever.
Mediation works very well when the following apply to you:
1. When both of you are willing to negotiate.
I will not lie; this point is crucial. Mediation only works when both you and your former spouse have committed to working together.
2. There is no domestic violence.
Mediation only works when both of you are in a position to speak for yourselves. If you are unable to do this because your spouse has abused you, then the power balance will make any negotiation next to impossible.
3. You can talk about your differences without fighting.
Do you and your spouse hate each other’s guts? No problem, but if you two cannot communicate, it will be a difficult task for you and the mediator.
Can you communicate without killing each other? If so, then mediation will work very well for you.
4. Your family financials are straightforward.
Couples with basic assets such as a home, retirement accounts, checking accounts, and a few other simple assets will find the mediation process a piece of cake.
Parents who underwent mediation are about twice more likely to rate their post-divorce relationship highly than those who litigate. In other words, there are better family relationships.
Which Cases Need Litigation?
There are cases that will force you to choose litigation.
These are some of them;
- Your spouse is hiding assets.
- Domestic violence is present.
- Your spouse refuses to negotiate in good faith.
- Your case needs a complex business valuation.
- Child safety is a factor.
As you can see, if you meet any of the above, it will mean that there is no other way than to file your divorce litigation in court.
Why? First of all, if your spouse is hiding assets, and secondly, if your children’s safety is at stake.
The Takeaway
So which one should you choose?
Ask yourself these questions first:
Can you talk to your spouse without bringing hell on earth?
Is your ex-spouse participating in good faith?
Are your financial matters complex?
What’s your budget?
If the answers are no, then you have to start preparing to take your divorce to court, which is the only option in your case.
On the other hand, if your answers are yes, then mediation is the way to go.
Remember, there’s no such thing as being stuck with a wrong choice. In some cases, most of the disagreements have been solved; mediation is the only process of separation.
You can start the whole process with mediation, but if it will not work, you can then decide to turn it into litigation.
Most importantly, choose a process that is right for you and your family.
